I think about what my life is going to be like ten or maybe twenty years from now. I know that I will feel so empty when you're no longer here. You'll be out of my life before you get the chance to meet my children and husband. The thought is starting to scare me to death. I know it's not going to happen any time soon, but the thought of it happening at all brings me so much pain. You're older than all of my friend's parents, in fact you're the age of their grandparents, and I used to hate the fact but now I realize I should just be grateful. I am so grateful that you love and care about me.
I will always love you most in this world, Daddy.
"Which do you like being called better, Dad, or Daddy?"
"Either one is fine, sweetie."
"I like Daddy best. Daddy is what I'll always call you."
You didn't know what was going through my mind when I said that. You also didn't know that when you left the room I broke down. I just always want to be your little girl.
1 comment:
That made me tear up to read. I feel that exact way about my mom. Just the thought of not having her in my life makes me cry. She knows so much, she gives me advice on how to do EVERYTHING, from working out to looking into scholarships. It's like there's nothing she doesn't know. And when I imagine myself in my twenties or thirties, without her there, it's absolutely terrifying. Because sometimes it seems like your parents the only ones who will tell me with an unbiased opinion of what to do, and what's right. You know? Because they're your parent, and their love for you is SO unique. You know that they don't just want you for their own benefit. They genuinely want the best for you. Like an insurance agent will say anything just to get your business, while not genuinely caring for you. But your parents will tell you which place will be the best for you, based on how they you will be treated and such. Does that make sense? I know that not all parents are like this, but that's how the good kind should be haha.
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